Day 29: Three wishes

IT'S DAY 29 Y'ALL! We're almost done with Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog, and there's this sweet sadness that comes along with it. I'm so used to blogging every day and always having a topic to talk about that I just don't know what I'm going to do after tomorrow? How will I share my sarcastic wit and intelligent humor with the world?! How will I incorporate homosexuality into everything I write?! How will I stalk my ex?!!

... Um... Forget that last one...

Yeah, still not over it. It's bitchy. I'm such a past dweller, and I know it's stupid. My poor Cancerian mind is so used to telling me that everything is my problem, I can fix anything, and things that fall apart are all my fault. Even if, say, he's the one who has the crippling social anxiety, he's the one who's not over his last relationship and sleeping with drag queens, and he's the one who told me I was abusing him and treated him like a whore and broke up with me to be with some other guy... Not that I'm speaking out of experience or anything, because those that are closest to me would know who I was talking about, and that's just not how I roll ;)

Wish #1: I wish I didn't dwell so much on the past. I want to forgive myself and move on, and not let my past darken my future.
Wish #2: I wish my family could get out of debt. I feel like my family (namely: my dad) is so unhappy all the time because we're constantly worried about these bills or that mortgage or this-that-or-the-other fee. It's said that those who worry about money a lot tend to have chronic back pain, and my dad has had an effed up back since we were living in Florida (a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away). Coincidence? I think not.
Wish #3: I wish I could make anybody fall in love with me I wish that I could just forget about relationships and love and dating all together, and focus on school and work and silks and Cirque (and that rhymed!), and just let whatever happens, happen; and be so effing happy when it does that I can't stand it. Besides, the people I'd make fall in love with me aren't really the people I'd want in my life long-term. I only want to attract people that I know can help me grow and change for the good.

I wish for a lot,
Ash