... Of course, I've been doing this Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog for so long now, I don't know how to do a normal person blog any more... NOTEBOOK, TO THE RESCUE!
So the other day I was standing around at the valet podium, and when I say "at the valet podium" I actually mean the small, closet-sized nook that we get to stand in when it's damn cold outside. Lately, it's been damn cold outside. Who would think? January, in Utah, half-way up a mountain... weird. Anyway, I vacated the cozy nook into the wintery hell to park a car. Now, I'm a patient person (<---I couldn't write that with a straight face), so when I tried to hand this person their claim ticket, and they ignore me to start unloading their life's worth of possessions from their car, I waited near the podium and probably had a sip of water/coke/chocolate milk. They then huffed impatiently when I wasn't right there to give them their claim ticket... I was 7 only feet away... Rude.
I handed them their ticket and climbed into their car. Now, it's probably my fault for being inattentive, but as I'm driving, I notice the sound of air and tires on pavement coming from the back seat. Thinking the owner had left the window down, I look back to find that they had left the car door open. I could have probably hit something with it; I had passed a few parked cars in the valet circle. Like I said, it's probably my fault for not noticing, but I'm going to go with it's all their fault for being an idiot, which prompted me to write
Valet Rules:
Tips and Tricks for Getting
the Most Out Of Your Valet Experience
1. If you see a valet approaching your vehicle, stop. Unless they direct you elsewhere to help coordinate traffic flow, park your vehicle and vacate. Failure to do so can lead to confusion, traffic jams, and vehicular injury to the valet. While most of the valet have already been hit by a car (at the hands of patients and other team members), it's not something we enjoy having happen.
2. Valet are, for the most part, patient people. If you have to remove personal belongings from your vehicle, feel free to do so. However, do so after taking your claim ticket. Failure to do so may cause further delays when the valet responsible for your vehicle wanders away to help other patients, returns to the Nook of Warmth, etc.
3. When taking advantage of our free valet service, please leave your keys in the ignition, preferably with the engine still running. Chances are your vehicle will be removed the minute you enter the hospital, and if not, it will not be idling for very long before being parked. This saves us a step and ensures that we have your keys. Failure to do so causes unnecessary stress for valets when we have to enter the hospital and track you down for your keys. (Note to vehicles with keyless start fobs: hand over the fob as soon as you vacate your vehicle and receive your claim ticket.)
4. Please close all of your doors. I'm not going to go into detail here. It should be self-explanatory.
5. Because we are paid fairly well, we are not allowed to accept tips. This is not to say that we don't. Cleverly hidden tips or tips that are forced upon us will be accepted, but don't expect us to enjoy them (though we will). We also accept food. We love food. Many of us (especially in the morning) do not eat a regular meal before work and will graciously accept any form of libation. Failure to do so leaves us hungry, unhappy, and (quite literally) out in the cold.
So there they are. Follow these steps and you'll find yourself happier and the employees of the second-most passive-aggressive industry (the first being restaurant waiters) happy to park your vehicle any time you need it!
I was a waiter once, I'm allowed to say that,
Ash
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