Also...

I'm going to Disneyland next month.

In case you don't know, there's this freaking awesome Tumblog called DisneyBound. In case you didn't infer from the previous sentence, DisneyBound is freaking awesome. The person that runs it puts together outfits based on Disney characters and concepts. I decided I'm going as Peter Pan.

I've got all the parts except a hat and a shirt that fits right... I found the perfect shirt at a thrift store for .99 and bought it, but like an idiot, forgot to check the size. It was small. Sadface. I was in the large section, but I guess someone had mis-racked it or something...
As for the red feather, I'm going to make a few out of red leather (red leather feather... lolz... god I'm tired...) and use them on the hat and possibly on a hemp necklace and/or bracelet. I also want to see if I can't find a very small Tinkerbell charm necklace. I can dip in in glitter and swing it around my head. (Get it? Pixie Dust? Shut up, I said I was tired...)

Getting crafty... and some sleep,
Ash

Ranty Bloggy Day!!!

Wow... Thirty-Day-Challenge Fail...

Day Two asks what my favorite Zelda game is, and when I first played it.

The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask

Majora's Mask, hands down, was my all-time fave. Although most of the characters are reused (explained by the setting being a parallel world to Hyrule), the story was imaginative and engaging, and the playable characters (more than one! ... sort of...) all had unique stories and abilities. The rather lacking musical score was made up for by the instruments unique to each character, and hunting for and using each mask makes one yearn for completion.
I first played this game at a female friend's house. She was new to the Zelda franchise and we had a wonderful evening of her trying to figure out the game, and me getting frustrated at her and eventually taking the controller from her. I was young, don't judge me.

So the real reason I remembered my blog was because I needed a place to vent... I'm having the age-old feud with my sister over dominance of MY vehicle. There seems to be some question as to who really owns it. My position is that I'm paying for it (only $250 to go), therefore I (nearly) own it, and I just let her use it (90% of the time, I might add) out of the goodness of my heart. Her position is that because I'm still paying for it, Dad still owns it and makes me let her use it. While she might be right, I'd like to point out that she hasn't paid one red cent for gas (rather she makes our parents pay for gas), but squawks at me when I use it to go to work the ONE DAY A WEEK the train doesn't run.

Then I realize, fine, she can be a brat about it, but she better start changing her attitude, because in two-and-a-half months, when I'm through paying off the car and it's my name on the title, I'm going to drive it to work daily, and she can take the goddamned bus to school and kiss her nursing internship goodbye. (Holy freaking run-on sentence...)

Suggestions?
Ash

Zelda Challenge, Day 1

My first Legend of Zelda experience was very young. I believe my parents and I (the only child [those were lovely times]) lived in Novato, California at the time. We owned the first Nintendo console, the NES and had a few games, among them was the original Legend of Zelda. I was extremely young at the time, no older than four, and attempted to play this game with little success... Not very interesting, is it?

Skip ahead to age eight, living for the summer with my grandparents in Utah, when my uncle introduces me to the Nintendo 64 and Ocarina of Time. Again, my first experience was confusing as I, like an idiot, decided to start playing on a pre-existing game file. I was very lost, and because of that, I was disillusioned quickly.

I didn't start off absolutely loving all things Zelda, but I'm glad that I picked it up finally and played through almost all of them.

Zelda forever,
Ash

I found another 30 day challenge!

Y'all are probably so sick of this, but I just don't know what to blog about anymore!!! And you're going to hate me even more when you find out that this one is THEMED!!!

30 Day Challenge - The Legend of Zelda Series

You knew it was coming some day…
Day 1: When was your first time playing The Legend of Zelda, what game was it, and how was your experience?
Day 2: What game would you consider to be your favorite, why? When did you first play this game?
Day 3: Which game do you think has the best plot-line, why?
Day 4: Which Goddess are you most like Din (Power), Farore (Courage), Nayru (Wisdom), why?
Day 5: Which game do you personally think is the most challenging and most easiest, why?
Day 6: Favorite and least favorite item(s)? Which would you want to be real?
Day 7: If you were to be any character in the games who would you prefer to be, or who do you relate to the most, why?
Day 8: Between all the sidekicks, which is your favorite, or which do you think is the most helpful?
Day 9: What is your favorite song from the series, why?
Day 10: What is your favorite version of Link and Zelda, why?
Day 11: If you could own any of the masks from Majora’s Mask which one would you pick, why?
Day 12: Which sword is your favorite?
Day 13: Which character do you think Link should fall in love with (if any), why?
Day 14: Which ocarina song do you wish worked in the real world, why?
Day 15: Which of Link’s tunics and/or armor suits would be most useful to you if real, why?
Day 16: If you play the game from another players point of view, whose would it be and why? (Ex: if you pick Ganondorf, you’d be playing as the villain.)
Day 17: A story about your first cucco attack, what was it like?
Day 18: Which shield is your favorite?
Day 19: Your favorite race – of all the races, which would you most like to be, why?
Day 20: Which 2-D games would you like to see be revamped and for which console?
Day 21: One of your own theories you’ve conjured up?
Day 22: Any location in any of the games you’d want to be real, why?
Day 23: Favorite mini-games in shops to play?
Day 24: From your favorite game, list in order the temples from your favorite to least.
Day 25: What’s one of your biggest complaints or rants that you have about the series?
Day 26: From re-deads, to deadhands, wallmasters and skulltulas and so on, which always scared or still scares you the most?
Day 27: Favorite and least favorite cut-scene?
Day 28: Your version of the timeline of the games?
Day 29: Favorite side-quest, why?
Day 30: Your expectations/thoughts on Skyward Sword and/or Ocarina of Time re-make?

Are you so ready for this? I'm stoked.

Here we go!
Ash

Answering a recurring question

I told you I wouldn't be posting daily. It's been, what, four days since I posted. I feel the proverbial nakedness not having poured my soul into some website. God, what is our civilization these days?

And speaking of God, I've been asked this question a lot recently: Why the prayer beads?
I got a set of prayer beads a few weeks ago from a little local metaphysical shop (and when I say little, I mean only slightly larger than my bedroom, and they're not even using all their space). Of their selection, I chose one made mostly from "skull beads". The "eyes" of the skull were made in the wood by insects looking for food. They were found and cleaned by the artist, and the rest of the features of the skull carved in. I like the symbol of the skull, and so this particular string of prayer beads called out to me more than others. I try to wear the beads daily.
The first several times people had asked me why I was wearing them, I gave the really lame answer of, "I just liked them." But I knew that there was more of a reason than that. I asked my Self the question... "Why did I see these beads and know they were meant for me?" Much like a freshman frat boy, the answer came quickly: "Though I'm not religious, I still need prayer in my life." I still have a connection to [God/the Universe/the Self/the Higher Power/what-have-you], and I can still ask for guidance or blessings when I feel like I need them. I also need to be thankful for everything I do have in this life. I'm starting to notice all the small and daily miracles (as well as the big ones) that happen around me, and when I do, I say a little "Thank you". Though I don't necessarily pray with the beads, or have a specific prayer for them, the beads are my reminder that prayer is a necessity to the soul. If you believe in your soul, feed it with prayer.

I can't think of a clever sign-off this time,
Ash

Day 30: Picture of myself, 5 good things

Wow... Longest 30 days ever. I suppose time goes faster when you're not watching the clock, but I thought that was only relevent when I'm counting down the seconds to the end of my shift. Nope...

Here's your picture of me, taken only moments ago:

And here are my Five Good Things that have happened to me since starting the blog:
1. I've gained a deeper respect for myself and have entered into a better sense of self love.
2. I've started crafting again.
3. I've regained my love of reading and am cruising through books.
4. I've paid off my dental bill (which I thought was going to be about $1500, turns out I only had to pay $50).
5. Though I'm still single, I've begun to come to terms with it again, and am setting aside my want for relationship to pursue my other goals. I'll let the relationship come to me when it's ready.

I wish I had more to say. I'm a little scared to be venturing into the world of blogging about whatever again. I'm so used to having a daily topic, but I'm sure I can come up with something. I know it won't be daily, but if I have something worth saying, I'll say it here.

I just want to thank all of you--friends, family, strangers--who have been supportive of me during these last 30 days. I find no greater joy right now than to hear "I'm loving your blog," or the like. It makes me love posting daily life for all to see, complete with rants, raves, and my general nonsense.

I love you all,
Ash

Day 29: Three wishes

IT'S DAY 29 Y'ALL! We're almost done with Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog, and there's this sweet sadness that comes along with it. I'm so used to blogging every day and always having a topic to talk about that I just don't know what I'm going to do after tomorrow? How will I share my sarcastic wit and intelligent humor with the world?! How will I incorporate homosexuality into everything I write?! How will I stalk my ex?!!

... Um... Forget that last one...

Yeah, still not over it. It's bitchy. I'm such a past dweller, and I know it's stupid. My poor Cancerian mind is so used to telling me that everything is my problem, I can fix anything, and things that fall apart are all my fault. Even if, say, he's the one who has the crippling social anxiety, he's the one who's not over his last relationship and sleeping with drag queens, and he's the one who told me I was abusing him and treated him like a whore and broke up with me to be with some other guy... Not that I'm speaking out of experience or anything, because those that are closest to me would know who I was talking about, and that's just not how I roll ;)

Wish #1: I wish I didn't dwell so much on the past. I want to forgive myself and move on, and not let my past darken my future.
Wish #2: I wish my family could get out of debt. I feel like my family (namely: my dad) is so unhappy all the time because we're constantly worried about these bills or that mortgage or this-that-or-the-other fee. It's said that those who worry about money a lot tend to have chronic back pain, and my dad has had an effed up back since we were living in Florida (a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away). Coincidence? I think not.
Wish #3: I wish I could make anybody fall in love with me I wish that I could just forget about relationships and love and dating all together, and focus on school and work and silks and Cirque (and that rhymed!), and just let whatever happens, happen; and be so effing happy when it does that I can't stand it. Besides, the people I'd make fall in love with me aren't really the people I'd want in my life long-term. I only want to attract people that I know can help me grow and change for the good.

I wish for a lot,
Ash

Day 28: Something that stresses you out

So. Many. Things. And I try not to let them stress me out... but I do. Following my tradition of Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog, I'm not going to give you just ONE thing that stresses me out. Oh no...

The Many Stressors of the Ashton:

1. Bills.

 

I'm currently in repayment for my student loans, and currently quite delinquent for some of them. I'm working on that. But just thinking about them makes me want to die... Except unexpected death does not absolve one of their student loans! Fact! They are credited to your spouse or legal guardians! Bitchy, right?

2. Clubs and bars.

I will admit (realizing that you will be judging me) that I have never gone to a bar or club and enjoyed myself, unless I was under the influence. It's not that I can't have fun without alcohol, I just don't have fun at clubs without alcohol. It's a judgement thing... I enter the scene and immediately feel like I don't belong, because I'm not wearing this, or I don't look like that. I realize that this is judgement on my part, but that doesn't make me less nervous. Should I break my resolutions and attempt the scene again, I will wholeheartedly attempt to just be in the moment and try to have fun. Maybe then I'll actually meet someone... I just laughed out loud...

3. My family. I'm not even going to talk about it.

4. Driving.

Utah is noted for it's horrible drivers. My family and I (with the exception of my sisters) are actually quite good drivers, so what makes me nervous is the people around me whilst I'm driving. These people have no sense of "turn signal" and "yield" is a four-letter word... Combine that with the fact that for the last seven months I've been relying on my TOTALLY PAID FOR BUS AND TRAINS! lolz... And I'm scared to death of driving in this state anymore.

Let's face it, I'm a wreck,
Ash

Day 27: Original photo of the city you live in

Ha! Nope. First of all, I'm not telling you which city I live in because I don't want you stalking me. The people I want stalking me... well.. e-mail me...
Second of all. It's extremely hard to get a photo of where I live because... well... This is my best effort:

So there you go. That's where I live. Sorta.
Also, this would be strike four, if there is such a thing. Seeing as nobody wanted to punish me for striking out, I suppose you get one more chance then you're SOL.

Is it naughty that I'm asking for punishment?
Ash

Day 26: My dream wedding...

Bah... I really don't want to do this one... For one, it just reminds me that I'm going to be single forever. For another, it reminds me how effed up this country is. Can't they see that denying people basic rights was the same thing they did to blacks and women years and years ago? But now women can vote, and blacks can have jobs and don't have to sit in the back of the bus... so why can't the bigots and conservatives see that they just need to wave the white flag and let us get married.

And for those that argue that if the government recognizes gay marriage nationwide, it will affect how your church has to run them: false. There's this little thing called separation of church and state. If a gay or lesbian couple decides to get married, they can have it recognized by the government and get the benefits that way, but a church can choose whether or not to recognize it. The government would have no say. So yes it would be legal, condoned by the church or not.

So my dream wedding, first and foremost, would be legal. I would be able to get married in Maine and honeymoon in Hawaii, and they would still have to treat my marriage as equal as Joe and Kathy Shmoe's. I don't actually want to get married in Maine, it was just an example.

I know I'd like to have a fall wedding, outside, somewhere where during the ceremony, a light breeze kicks up and showers us with multicolored leaves.

This would, ideally, be near a large reception hall for the reception... duh... I'm not sure exactly how receptions work... especially for a wedding for two men...

But I know that cake would be the most heart-stopping red velvet (and don't you dare call me unoriginal, I love red velvet cake) you've ever tasted, with golden fondant. And that's pretty much all I've got planned so far... lolz.

Oh, and I'll have a Maid of Honor, and a Best Man, because I said so. If I were to get engaged tomorrow, those would be my best friends Monica and Preston.

This post took me two hours to write,
Ash

Day 25: Shuffle iPod, first 10 songs

Strike three D: So you, dear readers, get to pick my punishment and I'll blog about it when I get enough responses. Or, you can take leniency on me because my iPod died. It just depends on whether or not you're a horrible person. Are you a horrible person?

It's the classic jr. high question (besides the basic Name, Age, Fave Color):
Put your iPod on shuffle. What are the first 10 songs?!
Because everyone has an iPod these days, and those that don't are ashamed of their mp3 players.
1. Innosence, by Cirque du Soleil
2. Bring Me To Life, by Evanescence
3. Final Destination, by Within Temptation
4. The Queen, by Lady Gaga
5. The Numa Numa Song... (what the hell is that doing there?)
6. Serenade of Water (orchestrated version), from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, by Koji Kondo
7. Timshel, by Mumford & Sons
8. Enter the Circus, by Christina Aguilera
9. Windwaker Theme, from the Legend of Zelda: Windwaker, by Koji Kondo
10. Give Me Novocaine, by Green Day (I was hoping they'd show up here, I only have four albums of them)

I'm really surprised that a little Michael Buble didn't show up, I have -- oh, I don't know -- six of his albums... I have about 50 songs of Cirque, including the entire "O" soundtrack. I have all of Lady Gaga's albums, including the Born This Way single, and two Katy Perry albums... gay.

I just love music, guys. It's how I function. I find it super hard to read without something to drown out the sound of every day life, especially because most of my reading happens on a train, and those get pretty noisy sometimes. If I'm doing any kind of mindless task or busy work, I'll pop in my headphones to help pass the time. Eventually, I'll learn how to play some instruments well, but until then, I'm super content with my iPod.

I'd really like to be able to play the piano,
Ash

Day 24: Something you've learned

I've learned that I am my own worst enemy, and my own greatest lover.

I am constantly nagging at myself to be better, but when it comes right down to it, I don't have the willpower to change myself. I have plenty of energy, but plenty of other things I'd rather do with it. It's a miracle that I'm even able to do my laundry today, because I'd rather be playing The Sims 2 forever. I've also gotten into this bad habit of reading the blogs of people I don't (read: "shouldn't") care about... And I dwell on the past... and wonder if there was anything I could have done differently to make my life today better. And what does that get me? Nothing. A little depressed, maybe. Because nobody can change the past.

But speaking of nobody: NOBODY can love you the way you want them to. Except you. Which is why I'm trying to enter myself into a state of higher self love. If that means I need to be a bit conceited sometimes, I will. Obviously loving yourself is way different that being loved by someone else, but I've learned that you can't always count on that someone to be there for you... That's really pessimistic of me, I'm sorry, but in my experience, that's been the case. Especially in my community (yes, I'm working the gay angle in). It's extremely hard to find a romantic partner in this area because it's hard to tell whether or not this cute guy on the train is looking for something special, or just looking for his next screw. Four times out of five, it's the latter. And that makes it hard for us normal homos who just want to find someone to love us as much as we love ourselves. We give and give and give, and just want a little get in return, rather than having our feelings squandered on someone who says he loves you one day, and ditches you the next.

In case you haven't noticed, this is my VOMIT OF FEELINGS BLOG. I'm done now. I'm not upset or anything, it's just something I wanted to get off my chest.

In summary: Love yourself first, because you know how you want to be loved. Any other love you get is just the icing on the cake. And who doesn't love cake?

I love cake,
Ash

Day 23: Favorite Movie...?

Okay, now I know this list was written by a 14-year-old. Pretty sure Day 7 was Favorite Movies blog, so I'm going to do a normal person blog today! Woo hoo!

... Of course, I've been doing this Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog for so long now, I don't know how to do a normal person blog any more... NOTEBOOK, TO THE RESCUE!

So the other day I was standing around at the valet podium, and when I say "at the valet podium" I actually mean the small, closet-sized nook that we get to stand in when it's damn cold outside. Lately, it's been damn cold outside. Who would think? January, in Utah, half-way up a mountain... weird. Anyway, I vacated the cozy nook into the wintery hell to park a car. Now, I'm a patient person (<---I couldn't write that with a straight face), so when I tried to hand this person their claim ticket, and they ignore me to start unloading their life's worth of possessions from their car, I waited near the podium and probably had a sip of water/coke/chocolate milk. They then huffed impatiently when I wasn't right there to give them their claim ticket... I was 7 only feet away... Rude.

I handed them their ticket and climbed into their car. Now, it's probably my fault for being inattentive, but as I'm driving, I notice the sound of air and tires on pavement coming from the back seat. Thinking the owner had left the window down, I look back to find that they had left the car door open. I could have probably hit something with it; I had passed a few parked cars in the valet circle. Like I said, it's probably my fault for not noticing, but I'm going to go with it's all their fault for being an idiot, which prompted me to write

Valet Rules:

Tips and Tricks for Getting

the Most Out Of Your Valet Experience

1. If you see a valet approaching your vehicle, stop. Unless they direct you elsewhere to help coordinate traffic flow, park your vehicle and vacate. Failure to do so can lead to confusion, traffic jams, and vehicular injury to the valet. While most of the valet have already been hit by a car (at the hands of patients and other team members), it's not something we enjoy having happen.

2. Valet are, for the most part, patient people. If you have to remove personal belongings from your vehicle, feel free to do so. However, do so after taking your claim ticket. Failure to do so may cause further delays when the valet responsible for your vehicle wanders away to help other patients, returns to the Nook of Warmth, etc.

3. When taking advantage of our free valet service, please leave your keys in the ignition, preferably with the engine still running. Chances are your vehicle will be removed the minute you enter the hospital, and if not, it will not be idling for very long before being parked. This saves us a step and ensures that we have your keys. Failure to do so causes unnecessary stress for valets when we have to enter the hospital and track you down for your keys. (Note to vehicles with keyless start fobs: hand over the fob as soon as you vacate your vehicle and receive your claim ticket.)

4. Please close all of your doors. I'm not going to go into detail here. It should be self-explanatory.

5. Because we are paid fairly well, we are not allowed to accept tips. This is not to say that we don't. Cleverly hidden tips or tips that are forced upon us will be accepted, but don't expect us to enjoy them (though we will). We also accept food. We love food. Many of us (especially in the morning) do not eat a regular meal before work and will graciously accept any form of libation. Failure to do so leaves us hungry, unhappy, and (quite literally) out in the cold.

So there they are. Follow these steps and you'll find yourself happier and the employees of the second-most passive-aggressive industry (the first being restaurant waiters) happy to park your vehicle any time you need it!

I was a waiter once, I'm allowed to say that,

Ash

Day 22: What's in your purse?

I'm getting to the bloggity blog a little late tonight. I had to help the Mom and the 10-year-old finish a science experiment that was due about 12 hours ago. Typical. We watched some Cirque though, and when Mom and I get together over a bottle of ModPodge and colorful paper, we could pretty much take over the world... IN STYLE!!!

I don't carry a purse. I'm gay (hence, ModPodge), but not that gay. Trust me, I've seen quite a few queens parading around town with their Versace (the computer said "Versace" is spelled incorrectly and wanted to change it to "Haversack"... wtf?), Dolce and Gabonna, and to conform to stereotypes, Louis Vuitton. I do carry a bag, however, and if you remember Day 12, I pretty much listed everything that I could possibly carry in my free-gift-with-purchase Ed Hardy duffel bag (read: "douche bag").

Currently however, I've got just an abridged version of that list residing in there. Let's see...
Deoderant
Just one bottle of cologne today, my current favorite, True Religion.
Two books: Gay Astrology (I don't want to talk about it), and Cemetery Dance.
A pair of gloves
My 3DS
My 3DS games
A pair of nail clippers
A headband/ear warmer... thing...
A can of soda (that I'm really surprised hasn't exploded yet... I'm not exactly gentle with my bag...)
And an info pamphlet from the U of U GSA.

Sorry it's not as exciting as most days. One time I had two pies in my bag, and the day after that, four homemade eclairs. Those were good days...

I like pies,
Ash

Day 21: Favorite picture of myself

Boom

This was a picture of me from a couple of years ago when I was schooling in Price. The building to my left was an armory. There are still trucks and vans and tanks and stuff left over in the yard, but it's now being used as a storage facility/event hall. Further to my left (out of the picture) would be my dorm building. I loved that dorm. All of my greatest moments (save for the three dance concerts I was in) happened in that dorm. To the right, sort of visible, is the Price cemetery. It wasn't a very active one, but there were occasionally things that would stir in the night, cast shadows, and gaze out from the fence.
This picture makes me feel infinite. Though that road didn't go on forever, it looks like it does. My road goes on forever, and will take me where I want to be every time. I will walk the line between war and death to find my paradise, and I won't rest until I've found it.

To steal a favorite quote from some dear friends...
And in that moment, I swear [I was] infinite,
Ash

Day 20: Nicknames

We're in the home stretch, y'all! Admittedly, I'm not looking forward to a few of these... (Namely "Day 26: Your dream wedding", "Day 27: Original photo of the city you live in", and "Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge"). I want to apologize for the blah manner in which I presented my previous two days. I was watching Godspell for the first time, and I knew that the only way I was going to blog that day was to do it right then.

I just finished up a trip to my old college town: Price, America. I have a few friends left down there who haven't yet been able to escape the black hole that is Price. It's a great city to visit, and a wonderful place to be from. I once fantasized about living there, but that time has passed. Despite my small town looks and southern roots, I'm a big-city-boy at heart (read in a Southern [not country] accent).

Nicknames. I have plenty. Some I don't mind, some I don't like. Here we go:
From my mother: Ashy-boy
From my dad: Sport or Sport-o (watch out, he's a creative one [sarcasm intended])
From my sisters: Meanie, Jerk, or Dork
From my director: Ash
From my middle school tormentors: Ash-hole
From my lovers: Almost anything. Pet names make me melt (and I can't believe I'm admitting this).

I don't have many, I have plenty. I'm okay with Ash or Ashton.

Love and ice cream,
Ash

Day 19: Something I miss

There are lots of things I miss. For one thing, I'm in Price, America, and all my friends here make me want to come back. Price is a great place to visit, and a wonderful place to be from, but I don't think I could live here... So I'll visit my friends while they're here and visit them elsewhere when they're not.

I miss Florida. I miss the rain. It rains every day in Florida, and people get nutty when it doesn't. In Florida, 105 degrees is hot, and 65 is cold. When it rains, it's warm, and you could play in it... except you might get hit by lightning. I miss Universal Studios Orlando. Especially now since they've opened the Wizarding World of Harry Potter... OMG... Must go...

Okay, so there are two things I miss... But if I think of more, I'll let you know!

Still wanting to be a wizard,
Ash

Day 18: Favorite place to eat

Strike two. I missed yesterday because I went to my old college town to see a ton of people I love (Scotty, Lisha, Farrah, Rachel, to name a few...) and I met some new friends and heard stories of people I knew... Some stories I probably shouldn't have heard... lolz.

Okay, so, here's the thing: I was a fat kid for a reason. I like food. Still do. So asking me to pick my favorite place to eat is like asking me to pick my favorite color: it changes with my mood, but ultimately, I love everything.

I love Greek food. Dolmathes and Gyros are on the top of that list.
I love Sushi and Japanese Tepan. It's like dinner and a show.
I love Italian, authentic or not, no matter what it does to my stomach.
I love Chinese, especially buffets. Nothing beats takeout.
I love Thai. Nothing beats a curry and a Thai Iced Tea.
I love fast food in moderation. McDonalds Coke, Wendy's burgers, Taco Bell's Chalupas, In 'n' Out's EVERYTHING. OMG. I COULD DIE. And probably will, lolz.
Seriously, I'll eat almost anything.

Always the fat kid at heart,
Ash

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

Bah. I'm really starting to scrutinize my own body... Well, I started doing that ages ago... But it's escalating, as made apparent by my "Goals" blog. Ever since I finished my season with Cadence Dance Co. I've been falling to bits. I'm not moving as much as I used to, and I feel like a schlub. I've mentioned that I'd like to get back into silks, which kicked my ass harder than any dance I've ever done, but studios and classes are just so damn expensive these days... not to mention they're out of the way. These days, if I can't get to it via Frontrunner or Trax, I won't get to it. I'm trying to utilize the bus system, but it scares the shit out of me.

So that's one thing I'm looking forward to: Silks, whether I have to buy my own or find a nice, accessible aerial studio.
My "looking forward to" list is split into two piles: Things that are going to happen soon, and things that I'm going to have to sell my soul to do but will happen eventually.

These are things that should be happening soon, in no particular order:
Visiting Price (Friday, y'all!)
Silks (buying my own and building a rig)
Second job
Moving out
Finding a boyfriend (while still adhering to the "those who seek..." thing...)

Things I'll probably have to sell my soul for:
Visiting Emily in NOLA (preferably during Mardi Gras!)
Trip to Virginia (just because)
Silks (Getting a membership to a pro studio)
Second job that is flexible with my good job and pays well enough for me to...
Move into the city (omg... so expensive) or out of state (scary, and more expensive)
Finding a boyfriend (you guys don't understand the boys in SL,UT... and neither do I for that matter...)

I need some horcruxes,
Ash

Normal blog, and Day 16: Dream House

I've been in a rut lately. I'm trying so hard to fill this void in me that screams out for a relationship, but I've now heard it from three unconnected sources that "Those who seek never find," and all in about those same words, too. So this is me, trying not to seek. But how do you catch the eye of some cute boy on the train and not want to know his name and number and whether or not he likes sushi? (Among other things I would like to know is relationship status [single, preferably, but I'm flexible], whether or not he has a crippling social disability [I have enough social anxiety for the both of us], and whether or not he has a good relationship with his mother [it's important to me, okay?]... But those can wait for later dates.) I have far too much on my plate than to be worrying about boys, but damn it, I worry anyway... So I'm going to just let that one go and see what happens.

And I need a new job. I'm still at the hospital, but I ended my seasonal-to-permanent employment at the Body Shop. I'm not big on retail, but when I have to persuade someone to buy more shit they don't need, I draw a line. I would like to get another part-timer on campus so I can get in to the University atmosphere, which might make going back to school a bit easier. Or not. I dunno. What I do know is that I want to move out, preferably closer to work. Waking up at 5:30 every morning, Monday through Thursday and some Fridays too, is starting to wear on me. (See how I gave an excuse unrelated to my family, even though my crazy family is the main reason I don't want to live at home anymore?)

Okay! Dream Home! Honestly, I'm not picky. I have two requirements: It's filled with IKEA stuff, and it's got a spiral staircase with a slide. Or a fire pole. Like I said. Not picky. An attic that I could turn into a study would be cool, and it should have a view, maybe of water or a cityscape. The master suite will have a grand bathroom with a tub that could fit two, and is recessed in the ground, to double as a step-in shower. The kitchen will resemble a professional restaurant's, except with a warmer feel. Think silver appliances, reddish wood, dark granite counters. And it will have an island, obvi. AND OH MY GOD, IT WILL HAVE HARDWOOD FLOORS. I've always wanted hardwood and rugs. ALWAYS.

Forever dreaming,
Ash