Day 28: Something that stresses you out

So. Many. Things. And I try not to let them stress me out... but I do. Following my tradition of Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog, I'm not going to give you just ONE thing that stresses me out. Oh no...

The Many Stressors of the Ashton:

1. Bills.

 

I'm currently in repayment for my student loans, and currently quite delinquent for some of them. I'm working on that. But just thinking about them makes me want to die... Except unexpected death does not absolve one of their student loans! Fact! They are credited to your spouse or legal guardians! Bitchy, right?

2. Clubs and bars.

I will admit (realizing that you will be judging me) that I have never gone to a bar or club and enjoyed myself, unless I was under the influence. It's not that I can't have fun without alcohol, I just don't have fun at clubs without alcohol. It's a judgement thing... I enter the scene and immediately feel like I don't belong, because I'm not wearing this, or I don't look like that. I realize that this is judgement on my part, but that doesn't make me less nervous. Should I break my resolutions and attempt the scene again, I will wholeheartedly attempt to just be in the moment and try to have fun. Maybe then I'll actually meet someone... I just laughed out loud...

3. My family. I'm not even going to talk about it.

4. Driving.

Utah is noted for it's horrible drivers. My family and I (with the exception of my sisters) are actually quite good drivers, so what makes me nervous is the people around me whilst I'm driving. These people have no sense of "turn signal" and "yield" is a four-letter word... Combine that with the fact that for the last seven months I've been relying on my TOTALLY PAID FOR BUS AND TRAINS! lolz... And I'm scared to death of driving in this state anymore.

Let's face it, I'm a wreck,
Ash

Day 27: Original photo of the city you live in

Ha! Nope. First of all, I'm not telling you which city I live in because I don't want you stalking me. The people I want stalking me... well.. e-mail me...
Second of all. It's extremely hard to get a photo of where I live because... well... This is my best effort:

So there you go. That's where I live. Sorta.
Also, this would be strike four, if there is such a thing. Seeing as nobody wanted to punish me for striking out, I suppose you get one more chance then you're SOL.

Is it naughty that I'm asking for punishment?
Ash

Day 26: My dream wedding...

Bah... I really don't want to do this one... For one, it just reminds me that I'm going to be single forever. For another, it reminds me how effed up this country is. Can't they see that denying people basic rights was the same thing they did to blacks and women years and years ago? But now women can vote, and blacks can have jobs and don't have to sit in the back of the bus... so why can't the bigots and conservatives see that they just need to wave the white flag and let us get married.

And for those that argue that if the government recognizes gay marriage nationwide, it will affect how your church has to run them: false. There's this little thing called separation of church and state. If a gay or lesbian couple decides to get married, they can have it recognized by the government and get the benefits that way, but a church can choose whether or not to recognize it. The government would have no say. So yes it would be legal, condoned by the church or not.

So my dream wedding, first and foremost, would be legal. I would be able to get married in Maine and honeymoon in Hawaii, and they would still have to treat my marriage as equal as Joe and Kathy Shmoe's. I don't actually want to get married in Maine, it was just an example.

I know I'd like to have a fall wedding, outside, somewhere where during the ceremony, a light breeze kicks up and showers us with multicolored leaves.

This would, ideally, be near a large reception hall for the reception... duh... I'm not sure exactly how receptions work... especially for a wedding for two men...

But I know that cake would be the most heart-stopping red velvet (and don't you dare call me unoriginal, I love red velvet cake) you've ever tasted, with golden fondant. And that's pretty much all I've got planned so far... lolz.

Oh, and I'll have a Maid of Honor, and a Best Man, because I said so. If I were to get engaged tomorrow, those would be my best friends Monica and Preston.

This post took me two hours to write,
Ash

Day 25: Shuffle iPod, first 10 songs

Strike three D: So you, dear readers, get to pick my punishment and I'll blog about it when I get enough responses. Or, you can take leniency on me because my iPod died. It just depends on whether or not you're a horrible person. Are you a horrible person?

It's the classic jr. high question (besides the basic Name, Age, Fave Color):
Put your iPod on shuffle. What are the first 10 songs?!
Because everyone has an iPod these days, and those that don't are ashamed of their mp3 players.
1. Innosence, by Cirque du Soleil
2. Bring Me To Life, by Evanescence
3. Final Destination, by Within Temptation
4. The Queen, by Lady Gaga
5. The Numa Numa Song... (what the hell is that doing there?)
6. Serenade of Water (orchestrated version), from the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, by Koji Kondo
7. Timshel, by Mumford & Sons
8. Enter the Circus, by Christina Aguilera
9. Windwaker Theme, from the Legend of Zelda: Windwaker, by Koji Kondo
10. Give Me Novocaine, by Green Day (I was hoping they'd show up here, I only have four albums of them)

I'm really surprised that a little Michael Buble didn't show up, I have -- oh, I don't know -- six of his albums... I have about 50 songs of Cirque, including the entire "O" soundtrack. I have all of Lady Gaga's albums, including the Born This Way single, and two Katy Perry albums... gay.

I just love music, guys. It's how I function. I find it super hard to read without something to drown out the sound of every day life, especially because most of my reading happens on a train, and those get pretty noisy sometimes. If I'm doing any kind of mindless task or busy work, I'll pop in my headphones to help pass the time. Eventually, I'll learn how to play some instruments well, but until then, I'm super content with my iPod.

I'd really like to be able to play the piano,
Ash

Day 24: Something you've learned

I've learned that I am my own worst enemy, and my own greatest lover.

I am constantly nagging at myself to be better, but when it comes right down to it, I don't have the willpower to change myself. I have plenty of energy, but plenty of other things I'd rather do with it. It's a miracle that I'm even able to do my laundry today, because I'd rather be playing The Sims 2 forever. I've also gotten into this bad habit of reading the blogs of people I don't (read: "shouldn't") care about... And I dwell on the past... and wonder if there was anything I could have done differently to make my life today better. And what does that get me? Nothing. A little depressed, maybe. Because nobody can change the past.

But speaking of nobody: NOBODY can love you the way you want them to. Except you. Which is why I'm trying to enter myself into a state of higher self love. If that means I need to be a bit conceited sometimes, I will. Obviously loving yourself is way different that being loved by someone else, but I've learned that you can't always count on that someone to be there for you... That's really pessimistic of me, I'm sorry, but in my experience, that's been the case. Especially in my community (yes, I'm working the gay angle in). It's extremely hard to find a romantic partner in this area because it's hard to tell whether or not this cute guy on the train is looking for something special, or just looking for his next screw. Four times out of five, it's the latter. And that makes it hard for us normal homos who just want to find someone to love us as much as we love ourselves. We give and give and give, and just want a little get in return, rather than having our feelings squandered on someone who says he loves you one day, and ditches you the next.

In case you haven't noticed, this is my VOMIT OF FEELINGS BLOG. I'm done now. I'm not upset or anything, it's just something I wanted to get off my chest.

In summary: Love yourself first, because you know how you want to be loved. Any other love you get is just the icing on the cake. And who doesn't love cake?

I love cake,
Ash

Day 23: Favorite Movie...?

Okay, now I know this list was written by a 14-year-old. Pretty sure Day 7 was Favorite Movies blog, so I'm going to do a normal person blog today! Woo hoo!

... Of course, I've been doing this Thirty Days of Bloggity Blog for so long now, I don't know how to do a normal person blog any more... NOTEBOOK, TO THE RESCUE!

So the other day I was standing around at the valet podium, and when I say "at the valet podium" I actually mean the small, closet-sized nook that we get to stand in when it's damn cold outside. Lately, it's been damn cold outside. Who would think? January, in Utah, half-way up a mountain... weird. Anyway, I vacated the cozy nook into the wintery hell to park a car. Now, I'm a patient person (<---I couldn't write that with a straight face), so when I tried to hand this person their claim ticket, and they ignore me to start unloading their life's worth of possessions from their car, I waited near the podium and probably had a sip of water/coke/chocolate milk. They then huffed impatiently when I wasn't right there to give them their claim ticket... I was 7 only feet away... Rude.

I handed them their ticket and climbed into their car. Now, it's probably my fault for being inattentive, but as I'm driving, I notice the sound of air and tires on pavement coming from the back seat. Thinking the owner had left the window down, I look back to find that they had left the car door open. I could have probably hit something with it; I had passed a few parked cars in the valet circle. Like I said, it's probably my fault for not noticing, but I'm going to go with it's all their fault for being an idiot, which prompted me to write

Valet Rules:

Tips and Tricks for Getting

the Most Out Of Your Valet Experience

1. If you see a valet approaching your vehicle, stop. Unless they direct you elsewhere to help coordinate traffic flow, park your vehicle and vacate. Failure to do so can lead to confusion, traffic jams, and vehicular injury to the valet. While most of the valet have already been hit by a car (at the hands of patients and other team members), it's not something we enjoy having happen.

2. Valet are, for the most part, patient people. If you have to remove personal belongings from your vehicle, feel free to do so. However, do so after taking your claim ticket. Failure to do so may cause further delays when the valet responsible for your vehicle wanders away to help other patients, returns to the Nook of Warmth, etc.

3. When taking advantage of our free valet service, please leave your keys in the ignition, preferably with the engine still running. Chances are your vehicle will be removed the minute you enter the hospital, and if not, it will not be idling for very long before being parked. This saves us a step and ensures that we have your keys. Failure to do so causes unnecessary stress for valets when we have to enter the hospital and track you down for your keys. (Note to vehicles with keyless start fobs: hand over the fob as soon as you vacate your vehicle and receive your claim ticket.)

4. Please close all of your doors. I'm not going to go into detail here. It should be self-explanatory.

5. Because we are paid fairly well, we are not allowed to accept tips. This is not to say that we don't. Cleverly hidden tips or tips that are forced upon us will be accepted, but don't expect us to enjoy them (though we will). We also accept food. We love food. Many of us (especially in the morning) do not eat a regular meal before work and will graciously accept any form of libation. Failure to do so leaves us hungry, unhappy, and (quite literally) out in the cold.

So there they are. Follow these steps and you'll find yourself happier and the employees of the second-most passive-aggressive industry (the first being restaurant waiters) happy to park your vehicle any time you need it!

I was a waiter once, I'm allowed to say that,

Ash

Day 22: What's in your purse?

I'm getting to the bloggity blog a little late tonight. I had to help the Mom and the 10-year-old finish a science experiment that was due about 12 hours ago. Typical. We watched some Cirque though, and when Mom and I get together over a bottle of ModPodge and colorful paper, we could pretty much take over the world... IN STYLE!!!

I don't carry a purse. I'm gay (hence, ModPodge), but not that gay. Trust me, I've seen quite a few queens parading around town with their Versace (the computer said "Versace" is spelled incorrectly and wanted to change it to "Haversack"... wtf?), Dolce and Gabonna, and to conform to stereotypes, Louis Vuitton. I do carry a bag, however, and if you remember Day 12, I pretty much listed everything that I could possibly carry in my free-gift-with-purchase Ed Hardy duffel bag (read: "douche bag").

Currently however, I've got just an abridged version of that list residing in there. Let's see...
Deoderant
Just one bottle of cologne today, my current favorite, True Religion.
Two books: Gay Astrology (I don't want to talk about it), and Cemetery Dance.
A pair of gloves
My 3DS
My 3DS games
A pair of nail clippers
A headband/ear warmer... thing...
A can of soda (that I'm really surprised hasn't exploded yet... I'm not exactly gentle with my bag...)
And an info pamphlet from the U of U GSA.

Sorry it's not as exciting as most days. One time I had two pies in my bag, and the day after that, four homemade eclairs. Those were good days...

I like pies,
Ash