Norway is in full fledged Butter-geddon right now. How does that even happen? And so quick too? I'm not one to watch a whole lot of news, so it feels like Butter-geddon just sprung up over night, but you would think that something like this couldn't have been sudden, more of a downward spiral into madness. But no. Butter-geddon.
Anyway, the most horrible thing to come from this butter crisis, by far, has been a young Norwegian man by the name of Chris Croc... er, rather... Tommy:
Now, I was told that I would greatly enjoy this video, but all I can think throughout the entire thing is "LEAVE BUTTER ALONE!!!" You're welcome.
On that greasy note,
Ash
December 20, 2011
December 18, 2011
Rick Perry: people actually support this man?
First, watch this:
His presidential ad, titled "Strong", is a load of crock. "... there's something wrong with this country when gays can openly serve in the military, but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas, or pray in school." He's trying to compare apples to oranges here. We've all heard the GOP's DADT argument: "Gays shouldn't be able to openly serve because it's a distracting influence." "Homosexuality is an infectious disease." "We don't want our men romping in the trenches in the middle of a firefight." Blah blah frickety-blah. How exactly does that apply to our kids not being able to celebrate Christmas or pray in school?
My sisters have come home from school every day for the last two weeks with little informative activities detailing the different end-of-year holidays of mainstream religions: Christianity (Christmas), Judaism (Hanukkah), Islam (Ashura), and Buddhism (Bodhi Day). They even came home with a little page on Yule, which is a Pagan religion. HOLY SHIT, RICK PERRY, THEY'RE TEACHING MY SISTERS ABOUT WITCHCRAFT!!! Obviously they're not trying to convert my little sisters to Paganism, just as much as they're converting them to be Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist. I feel blessed that my sisters get to go to a school that would be so open minded about other religions, considering the predominant religion of the area is Mormonism (three guesses where I live).
I'm an advocate for keeping prayers out of schools. That may sound like I'm a cold, atheist bastard who hates Jesus, and that's okay, because I don't care what you think about me. Rick Perry is acting like the only religion in this country is Christian, which, once again, demonstrates his small- and narrow-mindedness (read "idiocy"). I tried to Google "How many religions are represented in the USA," and couldn't find a definite answer. And that's good. It means that America is a truly diverse country. We have many, many, MANY sects of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, "Jainism, Shinto, Taoism, Caodaism, Thelema, Wicca, Santería, Rastafari movement, Heathenism, Kemetism, Paganacht, Hellenism, Asatru, Theodism, Odinism, Religio Romana, Druidry, Zoroastrianism, Jediism and many forms of New Age spirituality", just to name a few, and those who choose not to believe in anything at all. There is nothing wrong with that. To expect prayer in school would mean that everyone present would have to pray at the same time, probably in the same manner, most likely to the same deity, no doubt with a teacher or child at the front of the class, praying for the rest. But different religions have different prayers. They pray at different times and in different ways. Prayer was taken out of schools for this reason. Oh, and because public schools are government establishments (separation of church and state, bitch. Suck it!).
And speaking of separation, Rick mentions something along the lines of the government withdrawing funding for churches... Uh, duh, the government shouldn't have to fund religion. Hence, separation.
My point? I forgot. But Perry is an idiot.
Love and sodomy,
Ash
His presidential ad, titled "Strong", is a load of crock. "... there's something wrong with this country when gays can openly serve in the military, but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas, or pray in school." He's trying to compare apples to oranges here. We've all heard the GOP's DADT argument: "Gays shouldn't be able to openly serve because it's a distracting influence." "Homosexuality is an infectious disease." "We don't want our men romping in the trenches in the middle of a firefight." Blah blah frickety-blah. How exactly does that apply to our kids not being able to celebrate Christmas or pray in school?
My sisters have come home from school every day for the last two weeks with little informative activities detailing the different end-of-year holidays of mainstream religions: Christianity (Christmas), Judaism (Hanukkah), Islam (Ashura), and Buddhism (Bodhi Day). They even came home with a little page on Yule, which is a Pagan religion. HOLY SHIT, RICK PERRY, THEY'RE TEACHING MY SISTERS ABOUT WITCHCRAFT!!! Obviously they're not trying to convert my little sisters to Paganism, just as much as they're converting them to be Jewish, Muslim or Buddhist. I feel blessed that my sisters get to go to a school that would be so open minded about other religions, considering the predominant religion of the area is Mormonism (three guesses where I live).
I'm an advocate for keeping prayers out of schools. That may sound like I'm a cold, atheist bastard who hates Jesus, and that's okay, because I don't care what you think about me. Rick Perry is acting like the only religion in this country is Christian, which, once again, demonstrates his small- and narrow-mindedness (read "idiocy"). I tried to Google "How many religions are represented in the USA," and couldn't find a definite answer. And that's good. It means that America is a truly diverse country. We have many, many, MANY sects of Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, "Jainism, Shinto, Taoism, Caodaism, Thelema, Wicca, Santería, Rastafari movement, Heathenism, Kemetism, Paganacht, Hellenism, Asatru, Theodism, Odinism, Religio Romana, Druidry, Zoroastrianism, Jediism and many forms of New Age spirituality", just to name a few, and those who choose not to believe in anything at all. There is nothing wrong with that. To expect prayer in school would mean that everyone present would have to pray at the same time, probably in the same manner, most likely to the same deity, no doubt with a teacher or child at the front of the class, praying for the rest. But different religions have different prayers. They pray at different times and in different ways. Prayer was taken out of schools for this reason. Oh, and because public schools are government establishments (separation of church and state, bitch. Suck it!).
And speaking of separation, Rick mentions something along the lines of the government withdrawing funding for churches... Uh, duh, the government shouldn't have to fund religion. Hence, separation.
My point? I forgot. But Perry is an idiot.
Love and sodomy,
Ash
 |
| Oooh, so it was a biography... That would explain why he started going by Rick all of a sudden... |
December 17, 2011
BTDubs: Poop.
I'm loving that every one of my blogs has been rated "poop" so far. Seriously. It means my blog is being read.
I want my words out there, and by you reading, you are becoming a witness to my words. You will remember them. You will think about them. You will repeat them. It's human nature.
So thank you for participating in my social experiment. Keep pooping, my friends.
Love, luck, and fiber,
Ash
I want my words out there, and by you reading, you are becoming a witness to my words. You will remember them. You will think about them. You will repeat them. It's human nature.
So thank you for participating in my social experiment. Keep pooping, my friends.
Love, luck, and fiber,
Ash
Love vs. Hate, who do you think will win?
For those of you who haven't heard of this (and it's oooooold news) a while back (as in October 2010) a 16-year-old student was asked to leave class. Long story long, he walked into class on Spirit Day (a day where those who supported the LGBT community and were showing their respects for those who had committed suicide by wearing purple) wearing a confederate flag, I believe, on a belt buckle. The teacher in question, a Mr. McDowel, asked the student, Glowacki, to remove the belt buckle.
In case you don't know, you live under a rock, or if you're an idiot, the Confederate flag is a controversial symbol. Those from the South would say that it's a symbol of their southern heritage. Those from EVERYWHERE else would say it's a symbol of hate, oppression, and white power.
While I feel like asking this student to remove the belt buckle was infringing on his freedom of speech, what happened next made me want to infringe on his right to not be submitted to cruel and unusual punishment: after a debate, Glowacki asks, why can't I wear a confederate flag when the gays can wave their rainbow flag? ... like, srsly? At some point the student was asked to leave class, and later the teacher was put on unpaid suspension. Enter Graeme Taylor (another time, another story. Google him.).
First of all, it's Spirit Day, hence rainbow flags. As I already mentioned, it's a day of support for the LGBT community. When America decides to celebrate White Power Day, Mr. Glowacki, I want you to go to school dressed like a giant Confederate flag. Until then, I hope every time you turn around, there's a rainbow flag creepin' on you.
Second, whereas the Confederate flag is a predominantly hateful symbol, the rainbow flag is (kind of) a symbol of love (though depending on your area it's more a symbol of promiscuity, clique-y bars, and "cute" underwear... [I'm so getting whacked by the gay mafia...]).
NOW! Mrs. Glowacki, the mini-Nazi's mother, has hired the services of a Catholic law firm to sue the school district, claiming the teacher in question set up the little Hitler to be mocked for his religion. CHOO CHOO! The train's just pulled in from crazy town. How religion came into question, I'm uncertain... There's no way this can hold up.
I'll follow this story and inform you of the final, and most predictable outcome... If I remember... Whatevs.
Wanting more cute underwear than I have now,
Ash
In case you don't know, you live under a rock, or if you're an idiot, the Confederate flag is a controversial symbol. Those from the South would say that it's a symbol of their southern heritage. Those from EVERYWHERE else would say it's a symbol of hate, oppression, and white power.
While I feel like asking this student to remove the belt buckle was infringing on his freedom of speech, what happened next made me want to infringe on his right to not be submitted to cruel and unusual punishment: after a debate, Glowacki asks, why can't I wear a confederate flag when the gays can wave their rainbow flag? ... like, srsly? At some point the student was asked to leave class, and later the teacher was put on unpaid suspension. Enter Graeme Taylor (another time, another story. Google him.).
First of all, it's Spirit Day, hence rainbow flags. As I already mentioned, it's a day of support for the LGBT community. When America decides to celebrate White Power Day, Mr. Glowacki, I want you to go to school dressed like a giant Confederate flag. Until then, I hope every time you turn around, there's a rainbow flag creepin' on you.
Second, whereas the Confederate flag is a predominantly hateful symbol, the rainbow flag is (kind of) a symbol of love (though depending on your area it's more a symbol of promiscuity, clique-y bars, and "cute" underwear... [I'm so getting whacked by the gay mafia...]).
NOW! Mrs. Glowacki, the mini-Nazi's mother, has hired the services of a Catholic law firm to sue the school district, claiming the teacher in question set up the little Hitler to be mocked for his religion. CHOO CHOO! The train's just pulled in from crazy town. How religion came into question, I'm uncertain... There's no way this can hold up.
I'll follow this story and inform you of the final, and most predictable outcome... If I remember... Whatevs.
Wanting more cute underwear than I have now,
Ash
December 16, 2011
Thank you Jerry Sandusky
Here we go. The GOP is having a field day with this Jerry Sandusky thing. "You see?" says Michelle Bachman. "I told you!" says Mitt Romney. "All homosexuals are bestial and child molesters!" says Rick "Ignorant Shitface" Santorum.
No Michelle, no Mitt, no Rick. We're not. Jerry Sandusky isn't homosexual. He is a monster. Anyone who would prey on children, TEN-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN, regardless of gender, is a monster. I don't even know where this "Gays are child molesters" idea came from! I've tried to research it but nothing really comes up except radical right-wing propaganda. I can only imagine that it was people like Jerry Sandusky that began that nasty little rumor. He's married and as six adopted children and has taken in foster children as well (hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife), and in his free time likes to sodomize little boys in the locker room of Penn State, leading to the termination of the president of the school (because he knew or something?), and the riots of Penn State students and staff.
So thank you Jerry Sandusky. You've made it even more difficult for me to get married someday, adopt a kid, and avoid public scrutiny that I may or may not be molesting him/her. Thank you so very much.
Much less respectful than usual,
Ash.
No Michelle, no Mitt, no Rick. We're not. Jerry Sandusky isn't homosexual. He is a monster. Anyone who would prey on children, TEN-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN, regardless of gender, is a monster. I don't even know where this "Gays are child molesters" idea came from! I've tried to research it but nothing really comes up except radical right-wing propaganda. I can only imagine that it was people like Jerry Sandusky that began that nasty little rumor. He's married and as six adopted children and has taken in foster children as well (hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife), and in his free time likes to sodomize little boys in the locker room of Penn State, leading to the termination of the president of the school (because he knew or something?), and the riots of Penn State students and staff.
So thank you Jerry Sandusky. You've made it even more difficult for me to get married someday, adopt a kid, and avoid public scrutiny that I may or may not be molesting him/her. Thank you so very much.
Much less respectful than usual,
Ash.
December 12, 2011
Santa is real, you little shit.
I'm at work today when my manager asks this little girl what she wants Santa to bring her, to which this ... ahem... adorable little thing replies, "Excuse me? Santa is not real. Mommy buys everything I want."
Fortunately for both her and myself (for I am not above delivering a flying pile-driver to a four-year-old), her grandmother laid a verbal smackdown on her. She said, and I quote, "*Insert child's name here*, if your mother told you Santa isn't real, not only is he not bringing her any presents, she can forget about the box of presents from Grampy and me for y'all."
I wanted to openly point and laugh at the look of terror on that little girls face, for it was obvious to see that her mother had, in fact, told her child that Santa isn't real. Which brings me to my next question: What the fuck, Mom?! Why on earth would you tell your child that the magical fat man that brings you presents every year was a fraud?! I STILL GET EXCITED ABOUT THE GIFTS UNDER THE TREE FROM SANTA!!! Those are the gifts that my parents painstakingly stalked my facebook, twitter, and online diaries for a year to figure out what I wanted most. Those are the presents that they didn't take me to a store and say, okay, what do you need this year? A jacket? Some new jeans? School supplies?
Let me make this clear. Of course there isn't a Santa. But there is a Spirit of Giving. And Goddamnit, if that isn't enough of a "Santa" for you people, fuck you. I'm not going to tell you how to parent your children. But let me tell you, future co-father of my future adopted babies, if you so much as hint at the fact that Santa is more of an idea than a real person, if you say the words "Santa", "not real", and "meatballs" in the same sentence, and if you don't let my children take photos with every mall Santa they feel like pissing on the leg of, you can consider this future marriage over.
Respectfully,
Ash
Fortunately for both her and myself (for I am not above delivering a flying pile-driver to a four-year-old), her grandmother laid a verbal smackdown on her. She said, and I quote, "*Insert child's name here*, if your mother told you Santa isn't real, not only is he not bringing her any presents, she can forget about the box of presents from Grampy and me for y'all."
I wanted to openly point and laugh at the look of terror on that little girls face, for it was obvious to see that her mother had, in fact, told her child that Santa isn't real. Which brings me to my next question: What the fuck, Mom?! Why on earth would you tell your child that the magical fat man that brings you presents every year was a fraud?! I STILL GET EXCITED ABOUT THE GIFTS UNDER THE TREE FROM SANTA!!! Those are the gifts that my parents painstakingly stalked my facebook, twitter, and online diaries for a year to figure out what I wanted most. Those are the presents that they didn't take me to a store and say, okay, what do you need this year? A jacket? Some new jeans? School supplies?
Let me make this clear. Of course there isn't a Santa. But there is a Spirit of Giving. And Goddamnit, if that isn't enough of a "Santa" for you people, fuck you. I'm not going to tell you how to parent your children. But let me tell you, future co-father of my future adopted babies, if you so much as hint at the fact that Santa is more of an idea than a real person, if you say the words "Santa", "not real", and "meatballs" in the same sentence, and if you don't let my children take photos with every mall Santa they feel like pissing on the leg of, you can consider this future marriage over.
Respectfully,
Ash
December 11, 2011
Okay, but seriously.
No, really, I'm going to try to blog regularly now. Most of them are going to be rants. I won't apologize for that. I will also not apologize for offending anyone. These are my opinions. I don't have much, so let me have these.
Friends, if you like what you read here, please tell others about it. I have things to say, and I want everyone to hear them.
Better friends, if you have something to contribute, say something. I'd love to hear from you.
Best friends, this blog is a work in progress, and I will always welcome pointers.
I look forward to opening your minds and touching your hearts with my words.
Yours,
Ash
Friends, if you like what you read here, please tell others about it. I have things to say, and I want everyone to hear them.
Better friends, if you have something to contribute, say something. I'd love to hear from you.
Best friends, this blog is a work in progress, and I will always welcome pointers.
I look forward to opening your minds and touching your hearts with my words.
Yours,
Ash
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